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Background
and Family: RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
Husband: My name is Tou. I was born in Laos in 1968,
the second child born in my family, with three brothers and
two sisters. My family went to Thailand in 1982, where we
stayed at the Wat Tham Krabok.[2]
I married my wife in Thailand in 1993. We arrived in the U.S.
in March 2005.
Wife: My name is Mee. I was born in 1977. I have
two brothers, one older and one younger. Both of them still
live in Thailand because they had already moved away from
the Wat Tham Krabok when the refugee processing began.
Husband: My wife and I have two children –
one daughter who is five and another daughter who is two.
Both girls were born in Thailand. When our older daughter,
Pa, was about eight months old, she was hospitalized for swelling
of the brain caused by a high fever. Her development slowed
down a lot after that.
From the time she was eight months old until we left the
refugee camp about three years later, she was in and out of
the hospital in Thailand. She was cared for by the public
hospital in Thailand. There was no insurance, so we had to
pay for her care and take her food to eat at the hospital.
If we could not pay for her care then she would have to come
home until we could pay for her care again. Over there, we
did not have much opportunity to talk with the doctor; we
did not understand very much about what was going on with
her care.
Wife: We felt like the doctors treated us differently
because we were not Thai citizens. For example, a Thai family
whose child had similar problems to ours would be treated
first before our child. When we took our daughter to the hospital
initially, it took five weeks before the doctors performed
surgery, which seemed like a long time. There were other families
in the refugee camp who also had children with similar problems,
but there were no resources available in the camp, only the
support of immediate family.
Husband: When it came time for us to resettle in
the U.S., the doctor who examined us requested that our daughter’s
medical records be sent to the U.S. About four to five pages
of medical records were sent with us to the U.S.
Coming to
the U.S. RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
Husband: Initially we resettled in Wisconsin, but
after several months we moved to St. Paul, Minnesota, to be
closer to our extended family. Now we live with the parents
of my wife’s sister-in-law, although my wife’s
brother and sister-in-law still live in Thailand.
We first heard through a Hmong radio station about the possibility
of receiving help with the care of our disabled daughter.
The Hmong language radio announcer talked about personal care
attendants for the elderly and for people with disabilities.
Later on, we learned from an extended family member that our
daughter might be eligible for special educational services.
Wife: Our daughter is now registered through Ramsey
County for waiver services through Consumer Directed Community
Supports so that we receive a grant to be the caregivers for
our daughter.[3]
We were required to take classes on caring for her, and managing
services for her, so that now we receive financial assistance
as her primary caregivers, rather than hiring a personal care
attendant. She is unable to walk or care for herself in anyway.
She can be strapped into a wheel chair, otherwise we move
her from her bed to the couch in the house. When we come by
and talk to her, or whistle, she will smile at us.
Schooling
and Housing RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
Wife: Pa started school full-time this year at a
school serving children with developmental disabilities. We
have noticed that she is more responsive since she began attending
school. In the refugee camp there were no school opportunities
for the children.
Husband: Pa now takes the bus to school everyday.
We must carry her down a stairway to the bus stop, since the
house is built on a slope. We tried carrying the wheelchair
out to the bus first and then carrying our daughter out to
the bus, but the bus driver said this takes too long. So,
now we carry her down to the bus in her wheelchair.
Housing is the biggest challenge for us. We would like to
have wheelchair accessible housing, but it is too expensive.
Parenting RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
Husband: Both of our children were born in Thailand.
Our younger child was born at our home in the refugee camp.
We would like to have more children someday. Since we have
two daughters, we would also like to have a son. I don’t
know what my community thinks about children with disabilities,
but I am proud to be my daughters’ father.
At present we are not employed beyond caring for our children,
but our childcare preference would be to have one parent work
and one stay at home with the children.
We heard back in Laos that parents in the U.S. cannot spank
their children to discipline them. We have heard that you
can teach your child, but you cannot punish her when she misbehaves.
One difference in the U.S. that we find surprising is that
if your daughter grows up to be a teenager and she gets into
trouble with the law, then the parents may have to go to court.
So it seems like a system where parents are not able to control
their children but then parents are blamed if the children
misbehave.
We dream for our children that they would attend college
and receive more education than we did. For Pa, we dream that
she would overcome her condition so that she can do things
for herself, so she can let us know her needs and wants. Sometimes
now it is very hard for us to understand what she needs.
Wife: Our concerns for our children include not
wanting them to hang around with people who smoke, or do drugs,
or run away from home. I worry that I will not be able to
control the children.
New Values
in the U.S. RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
Husband: Values that I appreciate in the U.S. are
doing things for yourself, going to school, and becoming a
productive person. Depending on one’s opportunities,
a person could become a senator or representative.
We appreciate the interpretation assistance of the Pacer
Center (Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights)
staff in conducting this interview. The mission of the Pacer
Center, a national center based in Minnesota, is to expand
opportunities and enhance the quality of life of children
and young adults with disabilities and their families, based
on the concept of parents helping parents. For more information
go to: www.pacer.org. To view Pacer Center materials translated
into Hmong, Spanish and Somali, go to: http://www.pacer.org/translated/translated.htm
Discussion
Questions for Refugee Serving Agencies: RETURN
TO TOPICS LIST
- What guidance or information would you offer this family
regarding discipline practices in the U.S.?
- Given their daughter’s disabilities, what preparations
and services should be considered in resettling this family:
- Regarding needs such as housing, medical care and
assistance, appropriate educational services, etc.?
- Regarding support services for family caregivers?
- What resources or services would you recommend to this
family to assist in the care of their disabled daughter?
- Resource: U.S. Committee for Refugees and Immigrants’
Refugees with Disabilities Technical Assistance Services;
Dawn Blankenship at dblankenship@uscridc.org
or 202.347.3507, x 3006.
- If parents notice their child is having developmental
or learning problems, following are some options:
- The family doctor should be consulted by the parents
about their concerns.
- If the child is younger than five, parents may request
assistance from the local school district for early
intervention assistance to assess the child’s
needs and develop a plan for helping the child and parents.
- If the child has a known disability, the family may
contact the local county social service office to request
information about services available.
- To learn more about caring for a child with a disability,
each state has at least one Parent Training and Information
Center, like the aforementioned Pacer Center. They are
available with training, advocacy and resources in the
family’s local area.
- What type of programming might help these parents, and
other refugee families like them, feel more confident in
parenting their children during the teenage years? How are
service providers in your area addressing the needs of newcomer
youth?
- How can refugee serving agencies in your area ensure that
secondary migrants, like this family (secondary migrants
= families who move away from their initial resettlement
community) do not fall through the cracks?
For more information on Hmong refugees, please click
here (then click on “Hmong” under “Practitioners”)
for a list of resources in the BRYCS Clearinghouse.
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